Practical Penmanship…..How The Word Tactical Ruined Everything

    Recently I’ve been given a pen by a colleague who knows I have a thing for them. It is a Tactical pen. Think on the concept for a bit. Okay, time’s up; a tactical pen is an impact device/pain compliance tool disguised as a writing instrument. I like pens, fountain pens and ballpoints, I’m not particularly picky as long as they write smoothly and lay down a good line of ink. I have never seriously had a thought to use them as a weapon. Yes, you see them used in any number of action movies, where they are either a weapon of convenience or last resort. My objection to such things isn’t because they aren’t well made. I was looking over the offerings from such companies as SureFire, CRKT and Benchmade just to name some of the better offerings. My beef with the damn things are this: they are expensive, they play to juvenile fantasies, they are another symptom of “Tactical” mindset that has as one of its hallmarks this strange urge to weaponize everyday objects.

    In my search and handling of these objects in stores, there wasn’t any of these things that wasn’t over fifty dollars and many of them were in the neighborhood of a hundred dollars. By contrast a Parker Jotter, which has a stainless steel body is at most fifteen dollars, has the convenient and practical ability to retract the point. This is important if you don’t want your pen to bleed ink all over your shirt. The Jotter is light by comparison to many “Tactical” pens, so that you are probably going to want to carry it as opposed to sitting on your desk. The Jotter is more than strong enough to be able to jab into someone’s jugular vein, eyeball socket, temple, etc. if you are so desperate as to resort to stabbing someone with your pen.

    If you are thinking that the security guards at your local courthouse, city hall, or airport aren’t aware of such things; you are going to be mildly surprised if they should decide to confiscate said “Tactical” pen. I mean, it’s not like they aren’t discreet and stealthy, which is why they all have their brand names engraved or otherwise marked on them and no one knows that Benchmade or CRKT make knives. Years ago, BIC, had a commercial that showed a Cristal being hammered through a 2x4 and then being used to write something.. The BIC Cristal is so cheap and ubiquitous a pen that you can purchase them damn near anywhere and is so affordable as to make the previously mentioned Parker Jotter seem like a luxury purchase. Grow up and stop supporting this nonsense.

                                                        

Quick, for the prize, guess which one is the Tactical Pen....Any of the three lower pens, make infinitely better writing instruments, won't usually draw unwanted attention and if the time comes or you're desperate enough, can be pressed into use as a weapon.

 ProMag Archangel Tactical pen, for when you need a glass breaker and Kubotan and not so much the writing instrument

 Parker Jotter, this particular example being manufactured in France. I prefer them with the Quink refill cartridges as they write very smoothly and don't smear like gel inks.

BIC Cristal, the original Biro ballpoint pen. It writes and it smites your opponents.

Unscrewed and cap posted, the Archangel Tactical pen is OK for writing, but the cap has nasty habit of coming loose when actually doing so.